Am I the only person who writes names of people they've had sex with when they have nothing to do?
It's weird? Ok. But I find it totally Ok to do so and boy don't I have myself a good laugh at some of them!
Everytime Im doing the list, I classify the men into Damn Good, Not so Bad and Bad.
Some sex is just yuck and some is toe curling good...
Some men have learnt the skill of pleasing a woman pretty to the core while some just have no idea what to do.
Some of the names on my list have left me feeling eeeewwwwwww, wondering what I was thinking, how horny was I?, I wasn't thinking ,while some on the other hand have left me texting some people at odd hours when my tiny fingers will just not do it for me that night... I kid you not, but the list is a winner...
What is good sex? you will all ask me. Well, Im no sex expert but just like I know how I like to have my eggs cooked, not beaten and well cooked, so I know what good sex entails.
I can tell how good a man is in bed from the way he touches me. If a man is sensual, slow and attentive and knows where to lick, where to suck and where to blow, then I know he would be worth going all the way with because my friend, it will be a ride to heaven and back afew times. You'll call God but He just can't interfere with that glorious moment in your life, your mother who you wouldn't want to know you engaged in sex and his name if he is that good, you'll scream or you will say something as weird as " You're killing me, you're killing me, now Im dead". Or something as equally hilarious as that...
By the way that 'you're killing me' vibe is a true story... I once forcefully eavesdropped on some college mates of mine because what do you call the situation where ni lazima mjue na'cum ( its a must you know Im cuming)?
Talking of cuming, I have had those moments where we get to bed, he kisses me for two seconds, overlooks my breasts, and just goes straight for the "cookie" with no courtesy whatsoever. Even a decent kiss but then, Im always too horny to even notice that he didn't kiss me but just smeared saliva all over my face.
Its when we are done that It finally hits me, what the heck was that? Lawd Jesus!!!
I didn't even thrust my hips to meet u halfway and you're done? Come on!
There's this incident where I had been crushing on a guy for months on end and then we started talking, hanging out, flirting, and finally onto sex. Id never felt so cheated and mad at anyone as I felt with this one.
I mean, he had the looks of a guy id want to have babies with, cute chubby babies. The adorable kind everyone wants to hold and take pictures with. The irresistible ones that have got men on instagram posting pictures of them and hashtagging #dearfuturewife . You get my drift? Good.
He has to be the sloppiest dude I've ever kissed. A disappointment. A total let down and he dropped to the "Never Again Shall I" list.
I love someone who pays attention to my lips, tongue and mouth while kissing me. I also love it when a guy holds my head while kissing me and pressing his body to mine while pinning me against a wall. Someone who will pay attention to my body language while he is touching me, will get the drift of where I want to be touched when i lead his hand there, will take his time kissing my neck, nipping at my ears, grazing my nipples with his beard, sucking,pinching and biting my nipples, touching my hands, tracing his fingers along my curves and above my mounds, looking into my eyes just before he puts his finger inside me....
This guy i was crushing on did none of that. Instead I had saliva all over my face and a doubt whether he had a penis or had he been using his baby finger on me and pretended it was a dick? I had not felt it and yet he lay on top of me, grunting and groaning, asking me if I had cum while swearing his small dick that that had been his best sex ever!
Tell me the inner Nyeri woman has never had the urge to make a debut and just chop his manhood off out of frustration and I will bet you all my life's earnings that you're lying.
Same if you tell me you have never thought of just telling him No and that you had no idea that you'd just had sex with him.
Because we have all been there. Well not all of us but you get me.
That guy I've just talked about, he's not alone. They are many. They know they are not endowed but usually the smallest dicks think they are the best and some are, because they've known to compensate with their mouths and fingers.
Some are endowed but suffer from ignorance. They think sex is all about the dick in the pussy. Most, just for their satisfaction. If they've cum, its all good. You sort yourself out and hope the second round is better. These are also the ones who will want to go at it all night.
To me, sex is all about attention. To his needs and mine and vice versa. Its mutually benefiting and pleasurable. Its thoughtful, unrushed (that even a word)?, spontaneous, dangerous, exciting, and the moment you cum, either together or girl first boy second, should be glorious, you should get to heaven and hear the angels sing, your legs should shake or your toes should curl, you will most likely call out your lovers name, hold them close or just curl on your own, you'll speak in tongues, you'll scratch his back and he won't even notice it until he starts to cool down and feels the sting of sweat on his back (my favourite), he will hold your ass and press himself so deep in you the sperm doesn't have to run because he delivers them himself to the ovaries....
He knows when to get from missionary to doggy to spooning to standing to all the possible styles we can have sex in.
Most importantly he will know I do not looove doggy and that me riding him rocks and i don't mind spooning in the morning.
To me sex is mind blowing good.
The guy should know that he has to.reciprocate the good head I give him with something better like going down on me too and sucking the daylight out of me. Dear future husband. Ps: I give very good head.
But I have not yet called out a guys name while cuming and trust me there have been damn good ones on the list.
Im yet to have my legs shake because I've had an orgasm nor have my toes ever curled.
When he looks at me, I want to feel his eyes undressing me, caressing me and arousing me to heights unknown.
I want to get wet for him when he whispers naughty things in my ears while we are in public.
I want a man who will know how to make me cum with his tongue, fingers and dick.
I want a man who will know that Im close and make me wait then orgasm with me, or knows he's got it and goes down on me and makes me cum too. A man who will not have to ask me if I've cum or not because he knows I have or I haven't. Because the next time he asks,
"have you cum?" ,
I'll tell the truth.
Ladies, its ok to answer No if that's your truth. If he is the man you are in love with, tell him and teach him how to please you if you have the patience to do that. If you're like me with totally no patience at all, tell him the truth.and hope the next lady will be lucky if he takes the time to learn the art of satisfying a woman sexually.
Quote: It's not sex that gives the pleasure but the lover. -Marge Piercy-
Not Fair | Lilly Allen.
Xoxo.
#goodsex, #badsex , #sexisanart, #learntopleaseher #dearfutureboyfriend
