Dear A.

This is a letter to my Ex. My ex baby daddy who rejected me when I got pregnant with his baby and slept with my bestfriend and wasn't there for me when I lost the baby.... I have had to write it so that I can finally get it out of me. Let it go maybe and its my way of venting.
Here's to you asshole.

Dear A.

I understand you are happy with my friend. That's good. Atleast you ain't sleeping with any of her friends. Are you?

I don't hate you. I never would. There are even times I dream of you. Yes I do. Coz you were that dude to me. I fell in love. It was a mistake.

I just want to stop it all now.... You. Me talking about you all the time. It makes me want to hate you. Which I should do considering the awful things you did to me. But I can't hate you. Why? I have no idea.

But you hurt me and that  will always make me wish you pain.

I lost our baby. I blame you for that. For rejecting and denying me.
For sleeping with my bestfriend.
For saying losing my baby was in the past just hours after it happened.
For being an asshole.
For not keeping your promise to always be there for me.
For letting your friends think for you.
For not being there for me when I lost my baby.

Thats all okay now and I'm wiser.

Thing is, you always pop up. Every damn time. I.don't love you. Not anymore. Yet. I'm more indifferent to you now. You don't bother me. You don't affect me anymore.

That is why I always wished u the pain I felt that night I lost baby.
I wanted her. So damn much and nothing on this earth will convince me you had nothing to do with it.

I wish you pain.
And agony.
And loss of ur future babies.

I wish you anger.
Anger brought on by all that you did to me.

I wish you to lose every damn good thing in ur life.

I wish you a life with no kids... That you will want children but not get them.

The day u apologise, I will forgive you. But as long as you say nothing, then I will always wish you the worst pain ever.

One day ul be sorry you made me lose her. Sorry that you were not there.
Sorry you were an asshole.
Sorry that you rejected me and her.
Sorry that you ever made promises that you.would never keep to me.

I wish you the worst and im not sorry for that. You wished it upon urself.

Yours dejected
L.

Quote: Beware of a patient womans fury.

Over you | ingrid michaelson.

Xoxo.

Rooftop at 3:05am :-)

Outside
In the cold
In the quick
Your girl in your bed
Your hands on me
Your man in me
Doing me
Deep
Your girl in your bed
You moving in me
Hard skin
Lips locked
Heights reached
Moans of desire
Groans of satisfaction
Bodies locked
Your girl in your bed
I squeeze
Hardness in me
Desire pooling
Desire shattering
Fluids mingle
Heaven is reached
So sweet a place
So guilty the pleasure
Your girl in your bed
Im stealing her pleasure....

Quote: forbidden fruit is always sweetest....

Happily Never After | PussyCat Dolls.

Xoxo.

Random thoughts 1...

The thought of him
With another girl
Who is not me
Pisses me off
Makes me want to fight
For him
For us
But is it worth it?
Is he worth it?

Quote: As a snake sheds its skin so we must shed our past again and again and again -- Dalai Lama.

Bottle it up | Sara Barreiles.

Xoxo.

OVER HIM.

Maybe if I tell myself enough Il get over you.

Pain.
...Found out today that the man I love is having a baby with someone else. I have no idea how to feel.
Lost.
Betrayed.
Rejected.
I guess my dreams of us were his dreams of them.
And so maybe if I tell myself its enough to hate him, I will forget him.
Maybe if I tell myself No thinking or dreaming of him, Il get over him.

Thought: Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness within.

Over you | Ingrid Michaelson.

Xoxo.

Addicted...

Hi? I'm awesome.

And I'm an Addict.
Of love
Of tears
Of pain.

I'm an addict
Of trust
Of belonging
Of home.

I'm an addict
Of pleasure
Of treasure
Of desire.

I'm an addict
Of great sex
Of passion
Of Happy memories.

I'm an addict
Of all things good
Of love
Of all things life.
Of life.

Im an addict
And its awesome.

Quote: Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness within.

Potential break up song | Aly & A.J.

Xoxo.