I do not wish to reminisce on the past twenty something years of my life as having been anything but extra ordinary because that is what they have been. How I wish I could say Im turning 21 but Nah, we all know that that's a lame attempt at trying to convince myself that I need to finally start acting like a grown up.
I need to finally start acting like a grown up. That line has hit me in all the wrong places. Is it wrong if I want to bring out the child locked deep inside the maze that's me? I don't think so.
I will not wish that I am any younger than I really Am. That's not going to work because even if I lie to myself my ID will always expose me and be the sour reminder that I am not a very good liar. Therefore even though Im not going to publicly declare my age, (heck, I almost wrote wealth instead of age) I will not lie to myself that I am not growing older at a rate I wish would slow down and just let me enjoy being a youngster!!!
I will also not sit here writing about the things I dreamt of doing and haven't done or that sort of cliche stuff people like to talk about. Or the babies I should have had by now so I can concentrate on making a life for us. No.
I will also not write about all the wrong places I have been or the mistakes I have made. I refuse to go along that dirty sympathetic road that many will remind me of once 27th January comes along.
Instead I choose to write not about those dreams I harbour in my head in the hopes that someday they just might stop being elusive and come true but to write of what I will have done to achieve them.
I will write not of those places I wish to go but of how I already went there and had fuuuuuun!!!!
I will write not of the kind of friends I want in my life. Instead I will write of those friends I have in my life and Im grateful for.
I will not write of how bad my life is, but instead of how each day is an awesome or failed adventure and what has come out of it.
I will not write of all the lies I have promised myself to do in the last few years of my life or those past memories I wish I would relive. Or those friends I wish would have stuck around or that great dude I had great sex with and then he left me for my friend.
I choose to write about life as it is, to live with no regrets at all and to write of my achievements not of my wishes.
So as I grow a year older I choose to be me, to live life AsI want and to keep the friends that mean something and let go of those who want to leave.
As I grow a year older I choose to take risks and live life fully.
As I grow a year older I choose to be happy no matter what.
As I grow older I choose to love and to laugh, to give and to forget and without expecting anything in return, to let go of the past hurts and heal, to keep going even when its hard to see ahead and to be a better me without leaving myself behind.
Cheers to me for growing older. Happy birthday to me!!
Quote: Forgiveness does not change the past. It enlarges the future.
Happy birthday song
Sura Yako | Sauti Sol.
Xoxo.
